The Non-non-athelte

I have never liked sports.  Well I take that back, I like watching most sports, I just have always hated playing them.  I was scared of any sport where there were flying, rolling, balls, bats, mitts, goals, baskets, sticks, pucks, weird shoes... you get the idea.  I am also not competitive when it comes to sports.  When I watch a team I like, the Rockets for example, I love to talk trash and I get emotionally connected to the game and the players.  I also have had many family members and close friends who have excelled in sports and I have obviously loved seeing them excel and have success.  But when it comes to me and sports, I HATE THEM!
I'm not naturally coordinated.  I have horrific balance.  I get really insecure when I know people are watching me do something.  I think that is why I loved theater; the stage was bright but the audience hidden in the dark.  I couldn't see anyone looking at me.  I did trip really bad on stage, but in theater you are a character, you can make up a reaction that would make it seem on-purpose.
Growing up I was surrounded by cousins and siblings who were all natural athletes.  My sister who is five years my junior rode her bike without training wheels before I did!  Even as I type that I blush with embarrassment!  I was always afraid to try anything because of my weaknesses and fears.  It was frusterating to see things come so naturally to others while I really struggled.  It was always the joke that "Alyson never breaks a sweat!" or "Alyson BUCK UP!  Just try it!"  I didn't really feel the need to prove anyone differently so I just accepted my role as the girl who was afraid of everything and not capable of much.
As I've gotten older and had the opportunity to travel and have new experiences I have realized that I'm not completely pathetic!  I challenged myself and became SCUBA certified!  I have had the opportunity to hike in the jungles of Indonesia and spend all day walking ancient and modern cities of the Orient.  In doing these things I have realized that I won't fall over dead from exerting myself!!  That may sound funny to some people, but there was a time in my life that I really thought I just couldn't do these things.  And if I couldn't do them then I obviously wouldn't like them.
I have become more confident in myself and more willing to push my own limits.  I still don't really want to run out into the middle of a soccer game and play, I'm still very insecure when it comes to my natural coordination, or lack thereof!  But I have much greater respect for my body.  I discovered that I like working out!  I love the feeling of pushing myself until I'm so sore the next day I can't move!  I love doing something that 10 years ago I would've thought impossible!  I started taking a class at a gym that really changed me.  The first time I did the class I completed it, but I spent the next 3 days in miserable pain!  But I kept going.  My baby weight flew off and I suddenly could see muscle definition on my legs and arms (sadly not my stomach though).  I loved the feeling of mastering one of the workouts, or being able to try the more advanced position.  I was getting stronger physically and emotionally!
As we entered 2010 I started to think about what I wanted as a goal this year.  I wanted it to be challenging and something that would be a real change for me and not just a onetime achievement.  I decided that I would teach myself to love running!  And to prove that I loved it I would run a 10K.
Not only have I always hated playing sports, but I have always HATED running!!!!!  I can't even begin to describe the hatred that I have had for running!  I watch or hear about people running and I just want to die!  Everytime Kelly would go running I would just think how miserable!  Who would want to do that?  HOW BORING!!!!!!!!
My friend had told me about a program she found called Couch Potato to 5K in 7 Weeks.  I looked it up online and found the same thing but for a 10K in 10 weeks.  I figured that if I could complete a 10K then I have really trained myself to run.  I would think most people, especially me, could push themself to complete a 5K, but then quit running forever the next day. So the goal... 10K... and then for sure I would be a runner!
I'm now in week 4.  Week 1 was so easy I thought I was wasting my time.  The next week was considerably more difficult, and each week has gotten more and more challenging.  
I have to admit I look forward to my runs.  I don't get excited and think it is going to be the time of my life or anything.  But I get excited thinking "how am I going to feel after this one? at what point will I feel like quitting?"  Those may sound like negative thoughts, but for me they are exciting!  I never in a million years would have thought that I could run two miles!  But I have done it!  And I didn't need to be resuscitated at the end!
I am writing this blog to hold myself accountable.  The runs are getting harder.  I don't want to give up yet, but I do see that in the future I could want to quit.  If I put this out there and update on my status then I will be less likely to quit.  I know tons of people won't be stopping by to read this pathetic girls blog all the time, but just knowing that someone can read it does give me motivation to not give up.
I've always been the non-athlete.  But I have to say I'm rounding the corner into non-non-athlete.  I don't know if I'll ever call myself an athlete, but I hope to call myself a runner.  Well a runner would probably say that they love running.  So maybe I'll just be "Someone Who Runs".  That is good enough for me.
p.s. I have agreed to run in a half-marathon relay race on March 6th!  I'm shaken in my shorts about that one!